The first episode of She-Hulk: Lawyer starring Tatiana Maslany was released on Disney+. Fans certainly have a lot to say about this. Some loved it while others were disappointed. But I can tell you for sure, we now know how Hulk. The first episode explored Jen’s backstory and how she became the Hulk. He focused on his cousin, Bruce aka Hulk or rather the Smart Hulk teaching him to control his transformations and be all big and green in general. It all takes place in a cute little place that doubles as a lab near a beach in Mexico. Tony Stark had built it’s up to Bruce to lay low. Now we’re going to give you a 15-step guide based on everything the Hulk taught Jen Walters.
Buckle up guys, we’re gonna teach the Hulk. Let’s smash some puny gods!
1. Go on a road trip with Bruce and fuse with his blood
Yes, you read that right. The first step to becoming a hulk is to go on a trip with your cousin. Just so you know, your cousin must have gamma stabilizing genes. Then you have to somehow get his blood into your system. Crashing in a class 8 Sakaaran courier ship works perfectly! So you are good to go.
2. It’s filing cabinet time!
You have to hope your cousin Hulk has a big red binder with information he’s gathered over the past 15 years. This is your program now.
3. Transform into the Hulk
The goal is not to prevent you from turning into the Hulk. As the Hulk says, you need to understand exactly what level of stressful emotions trigger your transformation.
Just a warning – No Pixar movies allowed.
4. Put your life in danger
Yeah. You have to get stuck inside a glass cage with one of the walls compressing you. Oh and did I mention the wall must have sharp rotating blades?
Next, you need to transform and stop the blade-carrying wall. It was pretty simple for She-Hulk
5. Calm your alter ego
You need to calm your alter ego. Don’t worry, your Hulk cousin will sing you lullabies.
Although if you’re like Jen Walters, you probably won’t need all of that. It turns out that she has no alter ego and is completely conscious during her transformations. Bruce’s binder didn’t help much in the end!
6. Become yourself again
This step is a bit tough. You either have to get knocked out or fall from the sky. You can also ask someone to tell you that the sun is very low and see if that works. Sometimes you can just stay green for a very long time. For Jen Walters, sleeping brought her back to normal.
7. Talk Time
Witness an emotionally driven speech about the aftermath of a Hulk. This is the start of your training. Smart Hulk will tell you about the dangers of power and the possibility of causing death and destruction. He’ll tell you what it’s like to be labeled a monster. It’ll make you take the whole Hulk thing much more seriously, even if it’s as reluctantly as Jen. You are now ready for the real deal.
8. Daily yoga will keep the Hulk away
You need to practice some DBT – Dialectical Behavior Therapy near a beach in Mexico. Inhale and exhale. Do yoga and mindfulness. Then let your restlessness take over you and crack a bunch of jokes. Try to develop Jen Walter’s sense of humor. Oh also remember hold back your farts!
9. Break your bed
Be woken up by a car horn and transform into the Hulk, shattering your little human bed. Don’t worry it’s just for laughs and also a bunch of memes
10. Build great things
You need to start building bigger furniture right away and strengthening it as well. Here’s a Smart Hulk tip for you – never think about moving to a place with ceilings lower than ten feet.
11. Change of wardrobe!
You should have two separate wardrobes, one for your puny human being and another for the big guy or big girl. As the Hulk says, be your spandex’s best friend. Never leave your house without them unless you want to end up bare butt when you turn around. Hulk wears it too.
12. Overcome Hulk to throw stuff
Try rock throwing. Pick up the biggest boulder you can find and throw it. Remember to outdo Hulk and be super smug about it.
Then jump from hill to hill as if nothing had happened. You must also learn to balance your body. Do a bunch of handstands and intricate stunts to show Hulk how it’s done.
Now is the time for the ground pound! Literally hit the ground with your fist. Hit so hard that you knock down a few trees here and there. You’re probably not as strong as She-Hulk, but give it a try anyway.
13. Get knocked down
Get dropped by the Hulk from the cliff for showing too much. Also being called a little punk. All you have to do is show him your middle finger.
14. Hush, hush, hush!
Drink to your heart’s content at Bruce’s personal bar with him as bartender. Since you’re the Hulk and have an extremely fast metabolism, no amount of alcohol can really get you drunk. Quoting the intelligent Hulk “Everything buzzes, no puking.” But you have to deal with a huge hangover because it turns out that even She-Hulk couldn’t escape it.
15. Fight Your Cousin
Now is the time to put all your training to good use. Fight the big guy who has over a decade of experience and does very well against him. Also, clap the air to kind of make it kind of a sonic punch. Throw him a surfboard and smash his glasses. Then land on his handmade bar and pretty much destroy it. You are officially a hulk now!
You are now ready to show up in court to deliver your plea, go out and fight a villain who has suddenly broken into the courtroom and continue as a lawyer as if nothing had happened. If you’re Jen Walters, you don’t need a guide at all. She’s absolutely natural and has it all figured out in She-Hulk. Still, if you want more tips, check back next week!
